


Next Time, Sell Tickets

by Aurendel



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Dark Comedy, Fanfiction of Fanfiction, Gen, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 21:26:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28713504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurendel/pseuds/Aurendel
Summary: Things that never happened in Jackdaw’s GFFA. In which the audience becomes the show.
Relationships: Darth Vader & Maximilian Veers, Firmus Piett & Darth Vader, Firmus Piett & Maximilian Veers
Comments: 2
Kudos: 42





	Next Time, Sell Tickets

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jackdaw_Kraai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jackdaw_Kraai/gifts).
  * Inspired by [How To Reinvent The Stormtrooper Armor To Make Your Surrogate Father Proud And Shut The Naysayers Up For Fun And Profit](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24540286) by [Jackdaw_Kraai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jackdaw_Kraai/pseuds/Jackdaw_Kraai). 



> AU of AU of AU. Loosingletters unleashed beautiful chaos with The Background Noise of Defiance series.

At long last, the day of reckoning had come, and General Maximilian Veers suppressed a vicious grin as he stood shoulder to shoulder with his friend, Captain Firmus Piett.

They and other officers of the Executor were assembled to witness the long-overdue evisceration—probably verbal only, but one never knows—of Admiral Kendall Ozzel. Or, in other words, Head Engineer Luke Lars was about to rip an Ozz-hole. Lord Vader stood back, giving off a distinct air of a nexu witnessing its cub’s first successful hunt.

As the soon-to-be ex-admiral’s visage empurpled, Veers leaned toward Piett’s ear and muttered, “Should I make popcorn?”

Piett shook his head slightly, and in his primmest tone replied, “Choking hazard.”

Veers’ jaw dropped at his friend’s temerity, and Lord Vader’s helmet whipped around to fix his dark gaze on Piett. A moment of silent awe and terror ensued, until suddenly, the supreme commander’s vocoder began crackling in a peculiar fashion. Lord Vader’s shoulders began to shake, and he leaned on a nearby console. 

Somehow, the main attraction had been upstaged by the gallery.

At length, Lord Vader spoke, his vocoder sounding like a low-quality comm at a fast-food takeout. “*kkkhh* . . . Choking . . . *kkkkkrrh* . . . Hazard!” He straightened, then stepped over to Piett and patted the man’s shoulder.

Wide-eyed and near speechless, Veers resorted to his son’s vocabulary. “Bruh. EPIC!”

*********

Rumor had it that, hours after Admiral Piett’s promotion, the dark lord could still be observed occasionally shaking his head and muttering, “Popcorn!”


End file.
